When Awkwardness is the Best Choice

Saying “no” is hard sometimes, isn’t it? We want to be able to do everything and please everyone. We don’t want to let people down. We want to be superwomen who can juggle it all.

I think this is especially relevant right now, as the holiday season is upon us. Soon you will be in-over-your-head with invitations to dinners, gift exchanges, work parties, family get-togethers, holiday festivities, church events, and more!

It’s hard to say no to so many wonderful things! But doesn’t just looking at that list already give you anxiety?!


Last week I got a great reminder: it’s better in the long run to say “no” than to do something begrudgingly.

This great reminder came from the live Q&A call with Cystal Paine that I received as a pre-order bonus with Money Making Mom. The purpose of the call was to answer readers’ questions pertaining to starting a business, being a money-making mom, blogging, and more.

One reader asked her how she “does it all.” Crystal’s answer was that she doesn’t, she says “no” to a lot of things.

What Crystal said next really struck me: it’s better to to have a temporary moment of awkwardness saying “no” rather than have feelings of resentment later.

What she means is, when events and opportunities are knocking at our door, we need to ask ourselves,

  • Is this something that I’m going to resent doing?
  • Am I going to be driving to this event, wishing I was somewhere else?
  • Will I not have a good time because all I’ll be thinking about is what else I’d rather be doing?
  • Will I be full of anxiety wondering how I’m going to pay for this?

If it’s something that we will end up resenting, it’s not worth saying “yes” to. It is better to say “no,” and have a temporary moment of feeling awkward than to go and end up resenting it the whole time.

Your time is precious. Your marriage and family is precious. That is why it is so important that we don’t let an obsession with “busy-ness” run us ragged and take priority over the truly important things in life.

xmas1So this holiday season, before you say “yes” to any event, even something great, ask yourself, “will I end up resenting this?” If so, give yourself full permission to say “no.”

And instead, fully enjoy and immerse yourself in those things that are worth your “yes.”


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